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So, I reckon Escorts are like me team at the office – reliable, bit rough round the edges, but they deliver, don’t they? Built tough, them cars, proper solid chassis, not like them flimsy modern jobbies. Fun fact, yeah, did ya know the Mk1 Escort won rally champs in the 70s? Mental, innit, blew me mind when I heard that! Out there kicking arse while I’m here soldering circuits, wish I’d seen it live, mate, woulda lost me marbles cheering!

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So, I sit down, trying to chill. But then, this group of tourists comes in, loud as heck. They’re taking selfies, blocking the whole place. I’m trying to write my notes, and they’re like, “Look at this cute café!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, but you’re ruining it!”

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